Monday, February 07, 2005

Rebecca's Journey - 58

Greetings, Friends!

I'm in North America as I send this. Annie typed it for Rebecca and just sent it to me to add my part, which I'll do at the bottom.

From Rebecca: "About a week ago, Paul left for a 3 weeks trip to North America. I am here with my excellent caregivers, Judy, Annie and Jessica. What a great team we are! The morning Paul left, I felt a bit overwhelmed and blue, and called to Jessica: 'I need to write. Will you please take dictation for me?' I 'wrote' the following, and I share it now with you...

It was thirty years ago. We had not been long in our house on Linden Walk, which was our first real home. Early one morning I was in the kitchen and as our car back out from the drive way. My beloved was leaving on a trip and I was left at home. I was young (28 years old - Paul and I had married when we were 21.) I didn't go with Paul on this trip because of the precious little one asleep upstairs. I had always traveled with Paul, and part of why we had delayed having children was that I was torn by the thought of staying home while he traveled. Now that day had come.

I began to cry, picked up the broom, and through my tears furiously begun to sweep the kitchen. Then the Lord spoke. I love the ways the Lord's words come to us, simply, never to be forgotten. He said, 'This is your price for My Kingdom.'

And now today, over thirty years later, I am left at home again. This time I am bound by the limitations of my own body. Just as surely as a changed lifestyle was Father's great gift to me 30 years ago, so my paralysis is His instrument and gift today. This gift is not so easy for me to understand, but I pray: 'O Love, guard my mind in peace and quietness.'

Three weeks stretch out before me. It seems so long. By His grace, I shall take one day at a time, and together we shall discover what good things He has in store.

Today I can't grab my broom and busy myself; but, the blessed years have tempered me and I can wait each day with expectation to see the kindness, and tasks, that He has planned. My focus and my joy shall not be on myself but on pleasing Him."

Many years ago I read a quote by George MacDonald, the great 19th century writer, and the man CS Lewis called his Master. He wrote to one of his children: "If you're at home in God and I'm at home in God, we can't be far apart." That is an overarching reality for me, and our family. I'll be with my mother & then Susannah, Phillip, Josie, & Stephen at the end of this trip. We live our lives in Father's presence, and can know closeness to those we love even in the face of geographical distance. I thank our Father that He, and His grace, are sufficient for everything we face.

Our love to you all,

Paul & Rebecca